Your Net Worth is …

When we hear the words ‘Net Worth’, most often we associate this term with celebrities. Take your pick, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Elton John, George Looney, Oprah Winfrey… All you have to do is a quick Google search and their Net Worth or ‘Value’ is documented for the whole world to see. I did a quick search for myself; some of these famous faces valuations reach 300, 400, 500 million etcetera… But this made me wonder: how does society reach these valuations?  According to Quora, It’s as simple as this: you take what a person owns, and then you calculate what a person owes. Then you minus what the person owes from what they own, e.g. their assets and wealth. Why am I telling you this?

Well, because you may not be a celebrity, yet we form opinions about our worth on a daily basis (in our minds) inevitably this affects our self worth and decisions and therefore how we live our lives. When you think of self-worth, how would you define it? I done a quick search; the dictionary defines self worth has self esteem which is ‘confidence in one’s own worth or abilities or self-respect.’ Yet I feel like self-worth deserves a definition of its own, self worth has a lot to do with our value, and how you see yourself. When you value something or someone you give it first place, you believe that thing or person deserves the love and respect that you give.

I don’t truly believe you can value yourself by monetary status. You can value a business by its profits; you can value a service that’s been provided. Yet this old mind frame of establishing someone’s worth or value in how much someone earns; assets or their social status is potentially dangerous. The economy is sometimes unpredictable, social status or a person’s occupation can change in a blink of an eye. We’ve heard of celebrities declaring bankruptcy – or closer to home, someone becoming redundant.

“Self-worth takes you further than net worth.”

― Matshona Dhliwayo

I’ve always thought of self worth as something that can’t be helped; you either have it, or you don’t. For me personally my value has always been deprived from what I do, my occupation, or my talents rather than who I am as a person. I’ve always been performance orientated for as long as I can remember. If I’m performing well at my place of work, or on a stage, I’m good (I see myself as worth it, or valuable.) Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have a work ethic. Yet this perfectionist drive is unrealistic and can drive someone to utter despond when things go wrong.

I’ve looked back at what has helped me the most in the past couple of months…

Treat Yourself 

To be honest, I’ve spent most of my time looking after someone else, this is not necessary a bad thing in itself. Yet taking the time out to treat yourself with little things. For example, visit a coffee shop or spa, book a sauna and steam room at your local gym or go to the cinema .

Don’t compare yourself 

This is easier said than done, I still unconsciously compare myself to others, this comes in the form of nagging thoughts or sometimes critical thoughts like; “if I had her hair I would do more with it“. Or “I wish I was her weight, I wish I had her skin” – (referring to her clear, blemish free skin) my advice to myself and you would be: Make a list of what is right with you, all the things that are positive assets to you; I’m a good listener, I’m a good writer… (make a list that applies to you) or if this is too difficult; make a list of compliments, as they come over the next couple of months that people say to you, like; “I love your hair”, “I like your style”, “you’re good at …”

[This may help you reevaluate how you think about yourself.]

Positive Affirmations -These two words are getting more common lately and with good reason. When I use the word affirmation I am referring to ‘the action or process of affirming something’ and most likely something you may already know or heard, but you need to hear it over and over to turn that ‘knowing’ into ‘believing.’ I worked with a young man with autism a couple of years back; I wrote out several affirmations on a laminated pieces of paper I wore around my neck on a string– and whenever he would get distressed and in a panic over a mistake, I would get him to read affirmations back to himself. E.g. “I am a determined young man”, “I am smart”, “and I make right choices”. – And shortly after these affirmations he would slow down his breathing and calm down.

Approve yourself, before others approve you. Approve is defined as: ‘officially agree to or accept as satisfactory.’ When you’re doing something whether it’s a job at work, or a project, don’t solely rely on the approval or praise of others. This is something I have struggled with for a long time. Have this in mind: I’m doing this, because it’s the right thing to do… and whether I receive praise or not, I’ll still be happy, I’ll still keep my peace. A good book, in relation to this is called Approval Addiction, by Joyce Meyer.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”

Malcolm X

For other tips click below:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/#.Xcr6TNX7Spo