Anxiety, an ongoing battle..

I will start this post by mentioning one of my favourite TV cooking presenters: Nadiya Hussain.  After winning The Great British Bake Off in 2015 Nadiya Hussain went on to present several cooking shows including Nadiya’s British Food Adventure^,  Nadiya’s Family Favourites to name a few. I have most eagerly watched and enjoyed many of her programmes on BBC iplayer.

One weekend I was in search of one of her new cooking programmes and I happened to come across a documentary called Nadiya: Anxiety, and Me, which features Nadiya Hussain talking about her own personal struggles with anxiety, and exploring coping techniques and therapy among many other issues. This made me realise that anxiety is much more common than I initially thought.

When asked why Nadiya Hussain was making this documentary about anxiety,

Nadiya: Anxiety and Me she said:

 “I know that having anxiety is probably one of the most lonely, most isolating things to have because you are your own enemy – And you live inside your head, and I know there are thousands of people, who suffer just like me, We need to talk,

                           That’s half the healing,

                                     We need to talk.”- Nadiya Hussain

The Psychiatric Morbidity Survey indicates that there are some 3 million people in the UK that suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder. However, statistics only reflect those who have spoken out and reported their personal struggles. What about those who have suffered silently?

Once again, I will quote Nadiya:

 “…we need to talk, that’s half of the healing, we need to talk”

According to the Mental Health Foundation, “Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry or fears which, when persistent and impacting on daily life and may be a sign of an anxiety disorder”. As I read further it said “that some of the symptoms of anxiety can include changes in thoughts and behaviour such as:”

• Restlessness
• A feeling of dread
• A feeling of being “on edge”
• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability

I’ve experienced some of these symptoms at one point in time or even some of them in cohesion. In particular, I’ve battled and sometimes battle with ‘feelings of dread’ and on occasions’ difficulties sleeping.’ 

However, despite these challenges, I wouldn’t consider myself to have an anxiety disorder. I still experience anxiety to some degree but my attitude has altered over the past couple of months.

I came across this definition that might shed some light on anxiety in greater depth from my perspective. According to the Oxford Dictionary, “Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.“

‘The last few words stood out to me as I read them, (unease about something with an uncertain outcome.)

Uncertainty: the state of being uncertain– would seem to be one of the key drivers of anxiety in my personal life.  Not knowing how the day will go or how a situation will play out. Or not knowing how to solve a particular circumstance. Years ago as a child, I was quite shy so one of the fears that would play on my mind was; not knowing what to say in social situations. 

Most of the anxiety symptoms that I’ve experienced come in the form of a feeling of dread. This affects my body mostly because it influences the way I eat in the morning which inevitably has an ongoing effect on my energy levels.

This first tip has helped me in the past couple of months:

1) Drinking a warm drink or hot water early in the morning. 

I take this roughly an hour before work – just before I pop into the bath. This prepares my stomach for any food that I’m going to intake in the morning and throughout the day. 

2) Try not to skip breakfast

I used to feel a bit sickly eating breakfast in the morning. But I’ve slowly weaned myself out of this bad habit of not eating breakfast in the morning by starting with some small changes. I started the first few weeks by having juice, a cereal bar or a banana. Then I gradually moved onto porridge every morning or a healthy breakfast smoothie.

I will be one of the first to admit that anxiety can cause stomach problems (especially if you’re dreading a day at work or a big meeting.) This can have a knock-on effect on how you’re feeling, feelings of sluggishness or lack of motivation in the morning when you’re normally optimistic on a regular basis- was a really common issue for me.  Therefore breakfast gave my stomach something to work on throughout the morning rather than having an empty stomach churning throughout the morning.

Another nagging thought that seems to play on my mind in relation to anxiety is ‘what if.’ I believe this is closely linked to feelings of uncertainty but also that feeling of wanting to be in control.

‘What if’ thoughts tended to plague my mind (from time to time) especially when I was trying to drift off to sleep. I could spend a whole hour going over things in my head that I think I could have changed or fantasizing about situations. For example, what if I said this differently (referring to an earlier conversation). What if this happens…what if, what if, what if? I start out intending to figure things out in my head hoping to come to a place of peace and assurance.

These are some suggestions that I use on a regular basis:

• Interrupt your thoughts – especially if you’re going over things in your mind, you could listen to reflection music, ( I personally listen to DappyTkeys piano instrumentals on YouTube) Or write your thoughts down in a notebook or on a paper calendar if it’s a growing concern.

• Write a letter to yourself – give the same advice you would if you were giving counsel to a close friend or family member.

• Talk to someone you trust – I surround myself with a least one or two people who can counsel me or hear me out. There’s a proverb that says: in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. That’s so true.

I’ve come to realize that life is not predictable. Just like we can’t choose whether it would rain or shine today. Or we can’t choose whether your manager or colleagues are in a good mood or not. Or if are bus or train is going to be delayed. 

Or in this case, we can’t choose the chemicals or triggers in our brains.

Life is unpredictable. But that‘s what makes life so interesting but also scary and challenging at the same time. There are numerous other things that are out of our hands. But we can educate ourselves about anxiety; we can learn how it works, and how to manage it.

In closing, I don’t think there’s one solution to managing anxiety. I’ve always hoped that one day I would rid myself of all anxiety, fear and worry indefinitely in an instant moment.

(Writing this post is part of my healing, it’s given me a moment to think.)

I know some of my fears work in my favour in rare instances, like that rush of adrenaline I get, if I’m about to perform in front of a large crowd, which sometimes fuels my performance,

But anxiety is real, tangible and a battle for many of us. According to Mind, there are several factors that cause anxiety: For example, past or childhood experiences, and your current life situation, to name a few.  But I believe that despite my battles with anxiety I can live a fulfilling life of purpose like many others who have battled with mental health or anxiety specifically.

Folks, I admit this has been both a difficult and vulnerable topic to discuss. This has been a learning curb for me. Let me know your thoughts on anxiety and any coping mechanisms or strategies that you’ve learnt along the way. 

Click the link for more tips to help anxiety: https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/ 

Nadiya: Anxiety, and Me, Documentary Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YV3NXtzM8U