Fear of Relapse and Prevention

“Having a mental disorder isn’t easy, and it’s even harder when people assume you can just get over it.”
– HealthyPlace

After experiencing two devastating relapses, several years apart, that very term ‘relapse’ as come to be my worst enemy. When I use the term ‘relapse’ I’m referring to the dictionary’s definition; ‘deterioration in someone’s state of health after a period of improvement.’ Unfortunately for many this period of improvement can be a mere 5 months or a steady five years. For me, there were three overbearing feelings that came attached after a relapse. First being: the feeling of failure as if the years before this experience counted for nothing. Second being, having to start over, even if you don’t want to. Lastly an undercurrent sense of regret, as if you did something differently relapse could have been prevented. I’ve searched my brain’s hard drive for things that have kept me well in the last 6 to 7 years. My hope is that this can help you on your mental health journey.

1) Research your diagnosis

Diagnosis defined: ‘the identification of the nature of an illness or other problem by examination of the symptoms.’ When I first received my diagnosis, I didn’t even like to say it out loud. I hated the very sound of it. It meant something was wrong with me, something that was permanent. I recall studying the concept of stigma at University and how it can affect someone when they fall into an undesirable category. I never knew that I would be stigmatised myself, several years later.

“Don’t give in to stigma. A diagnosis does not determine who you are or what you can do!”
– Good Therapy

I fought what I perceived as a label (or diagnosis) in my mind on every encounter with my psychiatrist or care coordinator, (but never verbally). I would nod as if I agreed with my diagnosis every time I heard it. – (I had learnt this skill from my years at uni; I would write an essay on the designated topic, but I didn’t need to agree with it.)Now I realise that I was giving the illness I was struggling with power. If I didn’t know my diagnosis or how it works; how could I manage my triggers and prevent relapse from happening again? Now, every chance I get I research my diagnosis. This leads me onto my next topic; triggers.

2)Know your triggers

What are triggers? A trigger is defined ‘as cause (a device) to function’. Triggers are like dry wood that fuel a fire, without triggers or symptoms relapse cannot occur. Leading up to my episodes, there were several triggers, some more obvious than others. You can even research some of the triggers for your mental illness specifically. Mind is very useful; it lists some of the symptoms. Whenever I started experiencing any of the symptoms or triggers listed, I would make a note, and the coping strategy I used to subdue it or lessen its effects, and so I could refer back to it next time. For example: Trigger 1: Not feeling the need for sleep or not being able to sleep – Coping Strategy: Follow a bedtime routine, listen to reflective music. Trigger 2: Overspending -Coping Strategy: Keep a record of what you spend, have a budget, write a shopping list.

“The strongest people are those who win battles we know nothing about.”
– Unknown

3)Don’t suffer silently

Sometimes secrets can’t be helped. But I’ve been closed off about my mental health difficulties (even to close friends). Mostly because of fear, or not knowing how to explain what happened to me (in particular when I was sectioned) some of my experiences were really distressing. For as long as I could remember I tried not to recall these memories. Other times those weeks or months seemed like a blur (I just couldn’t remember.) Another reason why I’ve been so quiet about my mental illness was because of the stigma and shame surrounding it.

When I relayed my feelings about the stigma surrounding my diagnosis to my care coordinator; he said: “this doesn’t define you”. I have to remember that mental health doesn’t discriminate, it didn’t just choose me. It affects some many people around the world.

4)Research your medication

What’s your perspective on meds?

You may be perfectly fine taking medication. (This wasn’t me.) I’ve been in opposition against medication for as long as I can remember. I’ve always thought that I could manage this illness without medication, even in my early days or in the recovery after a relapse.

I believe that if I wasn’t so against taking medication I wouldn’t have relapsed twice. I was always eager to reduce medication – (My first relapse was caused by a rapid reduction of my medication.) But through knowledge of my medication I have come off one of my medications at a gradual pace rather than rapidly, and I’ve remained well.

“It sometimes feels like we need to try 10 times harder than the rest of the world (or the average person) to stay well – and if you get unwell – life goes on without you – everything stands still me.
LookAfterU4me

Know this, that you’re not alone in this fight.

“The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.”
– Jonathan Harnisch

Find out more tips from Mind –

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/planning-for-a-crisis/#makeinformalplans

Five phases of psychosis

Your Net Worth is …

When we hear the words ‘Net Worth’, most often we associate this term with celebrities. Take your pick, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Elton John, George Looney, Oprah Winfrey… All you have to do is a quick Google search and their Net Worth or ‘Value’ is documented for the whole world to see. I did a quick search for myself; some of these famous faces valuations reach 300, 400, 500 million etcetera… But this made me wonder: how does society reach these valuations? According to Quora, It’s as simple as this: you take what a person owns, and then you calculate what a person owes. Then you minus what the person owes from what they own, e.g. their assets and wealth. Why am I telling you this?

Well, because you may not be a celebrity, yet we form opinions about our worth on a daily basis (in our minds) inevitably this affects our self worth and decisions and therefore how we live our lives. When you think of self-worth, how would you define it? I done a quick search; the dictionary defines self worth has self esteem which is ‘confidence in one’s own worth or abilities or self-respect.’ Yet I feel like self-worth deserves a definition of its own, self worth has a lot to do with our value, and how you see yourself. When you value something or someone you give it first place, you believe that thing or person deserves the love and respect that you give.

I don’t truly believe you can value yourself by monetary status. You can value a business by its profits; you can value a service that’s been provided. Yet this old mind frame of establishing someone’s worth or value in how much someone earns; assets or their social status is potentially dangerous. The economy is sometimes unpredictable, social status or a person’s occupation can change in a blink of an eye. We’ve heard of celebrities declaring bankruptcy – or closer to home, someone becoming redundant.

“Self-worth takes you further than net worth.”
― Matshona Dhliwayo

I’ve always thought of self worth as something that can’t be helped; you either have it, or you don’t. For me personally my value has always been deprived from what I do, my occupation, or my talents rather than who I am as a person. I’ve always been performance orientated for as long as I can remember. If I’m performing well at my place of work, or on a stage, I’m good (I see myself as worth it, or valuable.) Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have a work ethic. Yet this perfectionist drive is unrealistic and can drive someone to utter despond when things go wrong.

I’ve looked back at what has helped me the most in the past couple of months…

Treat Yourself

To be honest, I’ve spent most of my time looking after someone else, this is not necessary a bad thing in itself. Yet taking the time out to treat yourself with little things. For example, visit a coffee shop or spa, book a sauna and steam room at your local gym or go to the cinema .

Don’t compare yourself

This is easier said than done, I still unconsciously compare myself to others, this comes in the form of nagging thoughts or sometimes critical thoughts like; “i~~f I had her hair I would do more with it~~“. Or “I ~~wish I was her weight, I wish I had her skin~~” – (referring to her clear, blemish free skin) my advice to myself and you would be: Make a list of what is right with you, all the things that are positive assets to you; I’m a good listener, I’m a good writer… (make a list that applies to you) or if this is too difficult; make a list of compliments, as they come over the next couple of months that people say to you, like; “I love your hair”, “I like your style”, “you’re good at …”

[This may help you reevaluate how you think about yourself.]

Positive Affirmations -These two words are getting more common lately and with good reason. When I use the word affirmation I am referring to ‘the action or process of affirming something’ and most likely something you may already know or heard, but you need to hear it over and over to turn that ‘knowing’ into ‘believing.’ I worked with a young man with autism a couple of years back; I wrote out several affirmations on a laminated pieces of paper I wore around my neck on a string– and whenever he would get distressed and in a panic over a mistake, I would get him to read affirmations back to himself. E.g. “I am a determined young man”, “I am smart”, “and I make right choices”. – And shortly after these affirmations he would slow down his breathing and calm down.

Approve yourself, before others approve you. Approve is defined as: ‘officially agree to or accept as satisfactory.’ When you’re doing something whether it’s a job at work, or a project, don’t solely rely on the approval or praise of others. This is something I have struggled with for a long time. Have this in mind: I’m doing this, because it’s the right thing to do… and whether I receive praise or not, I’ll still be happy, I’ll still keep my peace. A good book, in relation to this is called Approval Addiction, by Joyce Meyer.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”
Malcolm X

For other tips click below:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/#.Xcr6TNX7Spo

What on earth am I here for?

Ever asked yourself this question, your not alone. I speak about my own experience on trying to find a sense of purpose. Let me know your thoughts and how you find your sense of purpose.

LookafterU4me

Reflection Zone

What on earth am I here for?

Someone once asked me this question, and to be totally honest it caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to answer it, and I’ve never really asked myself this question and awaited my response. As sad as this sounds, I’ve live most of my life merely existing; living for the weekend and looking forward to the next holiday. After work, I mostly preoccupy by mind with music, Netflix, the radio, TV, books, and anything else entertaining. To be frank, these things (are not bad in themselves) and help me let off steam and recharge for the next day.

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What on earth am I here for? Purpose and identity: reflective piece – Lookafteru4me

Ever heard the phrase

What on earth am I here for?

Someone once asked me this question, and to be totally honest it caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to respond, and I’ve never really asked myself this question and awaited my response. As sad as this sounds, I’ve live most of my life merely existing; living for the weekend and looking forward to the next holiday. After work, I mostly preoccupy by mind with music, Netflix, the radio, TV, books, and anything else entertaining. To be frank, these things (are not bad in themselves) and help me let off steam and recharge for the next day.

But if I really think about it, unaware I don’t pause to think – unless to go to sleep – (just so I’m not left alone with my thoughts): unconsciously avoiding the heart’s core questions: What I’m I living for? And why was I put on this earth. Whether I decide to answer these questions for myself today or in ten years time, these questions will still come knocking at my door (especially in hard times.)

When most people think of having a sense of purpose, most often it’s associated with a career path, or a great cause. If you asked me: (what do you want to be?) a couple of years ago I could have told you my 3 to 5 year plan, my career aspirations and what I want to do with my life in terms of a career. Now despite being well for some time, I’m not sure what I want to be.

I’m baffled how I can be sure of something in one instance and not in the next. That goes to show how fickle life can be, and how the way we view it can change due to life and its circumstances. I’ve learnt that a sense of purpose is not necessary found in an everyday job alone, because not everyone does a job they enjoy. – Or their doing a job that differs to the career path they wish to pursue.

Society usually waits until something tragic and unprecedented occurs before seeking a sense of purpose, or a sense of meaning. ( this shouldn’t be the case.) I took a resilience test a couple of weeks ago and ‘a sense of purpose’ was one of the elements I needed to work on. But I know from experience that purpose is not something you can pluck out of thin air. It takes time. It’s determined by the little decisions you make on a daily basis. For example I desired to get back into work after my experience with mental health difficulties, yet I wasn’t ready mentally, so my parents suggested volunteering in my spare time. This worked in my favour, since it prevented long gaps in my CV – therefore I didn’t have to justify or explain why I wasn’t working for so long after being unwell. Note: (I had a resting period before seeking a voluntary position.) Don’t rush into anything especially if you don’t feel ready.

I’m not claiming to be a philosopher or critical thinker. My main goal is just to make you think, just like I thought today: What on earth am I here for? But this question seemed more prominent when I was unwell and in the recovery period thereafter. My sense of purpose seemed to go out the window when I wasn’t my usual self. What I thought I knew about myself (for certain), I no longer knew. What I thought I wanted, I no longer wanted. It took be several years to get back to myself; simple things such as self care, motivation and everyday encounters were a struggle. It’s almost as if I had to start over. It’s been many years since then.
Yet I know for certain that purpose has been one of the missing links in my life; I’ve been in what we will call ‘survival mode’ for some time – It’s time to start living!

In conclusion, I’ve learnt that purpose means different things, for different people. If you’ve reached a crossroad, or no longer know your calling, your career path, and your sense of purpose (you are not alone). I’m still on the quest to find my true purpose. But I’m using this year to get to know myself, my core values and what matters to me, that’s two steps in the right direction.

Take some of these tests, (not necessary in cohesion) – get to know yourself, weaknesses and strengths, your core values. This can help steer you on a path to get to know yourself and what you value.

Personality Test: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
What’s your true passion: https://www.psychologies.co.uk/test-whats-your-true-passion

Resilience Test: https://www.bwcharity.org.uk/resilience-check

“Guilty, until proven innocent…”

Battle with feelings of guilt on a regular basis? (have a read of my experience and some helpful tips to help deal with the opponent of guilt) – Take a handy guilt test at the end to find out more about yourself, and what makes you feel guilty???

Read: Guilty, until proven innocent

“Guilty, until proven innocent…”

We usually hear this common phrase in the title (the other way round) in relation to crime or an person’s defense: Innocent until proven guilty.

I’ve flipped this saying on its head, because I’ve always felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame of what I considered as ‘past mistakes’. I made myself, judge and jury by consistently going over the evidence (in my head) in the form of memories of my regrets and mistakes. Lately that old mindset has slowly starting to change.

Today I’m discussing the sense of guilt that many of us play over and over in our minds on a daily or even a yearly basis.

Let’s begin by defining Guilt

Guilt is defined ‘ as the unhappy feelings caused by ‘knowing’ or ‘thinking’ that you’ve done something wrong. Notice this definition made two clear distinctions. The first is ‘knowing’ that you done something wrong, (in my own words) being certain of something you’ve done wrong. The second is ‘thinking’ that you’ve done something wrong, (which suggests uncertainty), and as more to do with your perception of the situation rather than reality.

Years ago I seemed like an expert in allowing guilt to play on record in my mind. For years (sometimes, 5 or 6 years) I would hold onto what we will call “memories” (I call them memories but they have no positive connotations whatsoever.) These “memories” or past situations where I believed and ‘knew’ (in my mind) that I had done something wrong (or something against my character) these thoughts of condemnation plagued my mind.

I know from firsthand experience, that when it comes to guilt- (from my own experience) regret seems to play a huge part in fueling my sense of guilt. I’ve often caught myself playing back situations as if by doing so I could change the situation, or the way in which I felt about that particular memory. Sometimes I held onto these ‘memories’ of regret or guilt, in hope that I could work it out in my mind, or so that history didn’t repeat itself.

In reason, I feel as though some degree of guilt (in small doses) can act as a safety net – to prevent you from getting into trouble. For example (with the law), imagine your MOT has run out, you intend to take your car for a MOT test in the morning, but an emergency comes up, you need to jump start a friend or sibling’s car. You begin to drive (but in the back of your mind you may feel a sense of guilt or dread) – your intentions may be innocent, but driving without MOT goes against the grain of your moral judgment. There’s a blatant consequence – being pulled over or a fine. (I think our decisions all depends on what we consider right, and what we consider as wrong, and the consequences of the situation.) Some of us are more prone to guilt, because of a variety of factors, for example your upbringing, or your personality type. Don’t see these as a negative factors. Remember somebody else’s strength may be another person’s weakness, but somebody’s weakness may be your strength.

Let’s take a look at an example of how guilt could come into play differently, for different people.

By now we’re all are familiar with supermarkets charging for plastic bags in Britain. On one hand someone wouldn’t think twice about pinching an extra bag, (if needed) when packing their shopping at the self service isle. (Who cares? you may exclaim) Whereas on the other hand, another person would feel that taking a plastic bag without paying for it goes against their moral judgment – (they believe it’s the principle – it’s not just a bag), and that this additional charge (5p/ 10p) encourages shoppers to reuse their own bags, and inevitably helps us solve climate change. (For those who are not living in Britain, you may not get this example)

A perfect example in the news lately is when the climate protestors were on top of the trains, some of whom (I heard) were dragged of a top of a train by commuters. This goes to show that one person’s right, is another person’s wrong. The climate protestors felt that it was their right to make protest to help solve or highlight climate change by making this demonstration. Whereas commuters felt it was their human right to choose the way in which they travel (whether it was considered eco – friendly or not, in someone else’s eyes)

What I’m I trying to say?

Live life in perspective, don’t let guilt paralyze you; when I used the term paralyze – I mean it metaphorically, ‘that you don’t let that guilt make you unable to think, or act normally especially through panic or fear’. Come to the realization that everyone is prone to error. Years ago my guilt was overbearing. Since then, I have grown, and learnt that we are all work in progress, you may not be where you want to be mentally yet, but your work in progress, don’t give up on yourself.

This is just a brief reflection on guilt, consider some of the tips below:

Tip 1 # Study Guilt
Study how guilt works in greater depth, if you were a boxer, you wouldn’t go into a boxing ring without knowing your opponent. This is a battle – it may not be physical but it is in your mind.

Tip 2 # Don’t act on impulse
Ensure you are thinking clearly before you make decisions – ask yourself – is guilt the driving force behind your decision.

Tip 3 # Look at your ‘Guilt’ in perspective
Remember this: what matters today, won’t necessary be important or prominent in a couple of years’ time.

Tip 4 #Seek another perspective
Sometimes we cannot see things looking from the inside out, sometimes we need to talk to someone who is looking from the outside in.

Take the guilt test: What makes you feel guilty?

https://www.psychologies.co.uk/test-what-makes-you-feel-guilty

“The right to Happiness”

Reflection Zone:

Many of us are familiar with the Human Rights Act in Britain, for example, the right to life, the right to a fair trial, the right to liberty, to name a few. If it was possible to add one more human right to the human rights law in Britain It would be ‘the right to be happy.’

I think I’ve lived most of my life merely existing – awaiting for the next big thing, the next holiday, the next event in order to experience happiness.

One of my favourite films is The Pursuit of Happiness, featuring Will Smith and his son Jaden Smith. This film made a key point, that happiness is something that must be pursued and not something you can obtain in one-off miraculous experience (in my own words.)

I remember a famous reflection by Chris Gardener – (the character that Will Smith plays in The Pursuit of Happiness)

I quote: “It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?”

This point really hit home with me. I’ve always thought if I get my dream job, or meet the perfect guy I would be happy. It’s almost as if I have a mental checklist of the things I want to achieve. But sometimes when we achieve our goals, we can end up complaining about the very thing we desired and strived for years ago.

It’s human nature to forget where you’re coming from and how far you’ve come. I’ve found that keeping a record of your goals, or gratitude lists on what I’ve achieved on a monthly or yearly basis is a good habit to introduce to your life, so you can look back and remember.

New Year’s Eve always comes round and we set New Year’s resolutions hoping that if we reach those goals, we would be much happier and feel much more successful. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to have goals, but don’t base your happiness on this alone.

You may be familiar with this quote: ‘You’re responsible for your own happiness’. But that seems like such a big responsibility, and happiness is not always something you can control. Happiness always seems to be dependent on what’s going on around us – at our place of work, our social circle, or our relationship with my family, or what’s going on in our minds.

I’ve come to know that there’s no quick fix when it comes to happiness, but I’ve listed a couple of tips that have helped me maintain a happy attitude in the midst of life.

Tip 1 # Carry your own atmosphere

This basically means remaining positive in negative environments, (this is easier said, then done) – by carrying your own atmosphere you’re building resilience and stamina to withstand any weather.

Tip 2 # Do the things you enjoy

I personally enjoy visiting coffee shops, ( that’s where I write my posts for my blog) I love writing – it’s an amazing outlet to discuss things I’m passionate about or struggling with.

Tip 3 # Break routine and try something new

I’ve heard it once said: you can’t do the same things and expect a different result – if you’re use to doing things a certain way all the time (like me) – change it up, it does wonders to your state of happiness.

Tip 4 # Cut off technology ( sometimes)

I sometimes find myself scrolling through YouTube looking for something that will catch my attention, this can be emotionally draining and time consuming. Know when to cut off from technology, or for some, social media.

Tip 5 # Rest your mind

Rest your mind- close your eyes and listen to reflection music – some people find that even if they sleep long hours they don’t get rest – their still tired in the morning. I’ve had firsthand experience of this, I’m still learning in this area.

Tip 6 # Get to know yourself

Take a happiness test (there’s numerous tests online, find one that suits you)I’ve linked two below:

https://www.psychologies.co.uk/test-how-happy-are-you

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/tests/health/happiness-test

Remember this: You deserve to be happy – it’s your human right.

Listen to the quote from The Pursuit of Happiness:

Anxiety, an ongoing battle..

I will start this post by mentioning one of my favourite TV cooking presenters: Nadiya Hussain. After winning The Great British Bake Off in 2015 Nadiya Hussain went on to present several cooking shows including Nadiya’s British Food Adventure^,Nadiya’s Family Favourites to name a few. I have most eagerly watched and enjoyed many of her programmes on BBC iplayer.

One weekend I was in search of one of her new cooking programmes and I happened to come across a documentary called Nadiya: Anxiety, and Me, which features Nadiya Hussain talking about her own personal struggles with anxiety, and exploring coping techniques and therapy among many other issues. This made me realise that anxiety is much more common than I initially thought.

When asked why Nadiya Hussain was making this documentary about anxiety,

Nadiya: Anxiety and Me she said:

“I know that having anxiety is probably one of the most lonely, most isolating things to have because you are your own enemy – And you live inside your head, and I know there are thousands of people, who suffer just like me, We need to talk,

That’s half the healing,

We need to talk.”- Nadiya Hussain

The Psychiatric Morbidity Survey indicates that there are some 3 million people in the UK that suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder. However, statistics only reflect those who have spoken out and reported their personal struggles. What about those who have suffered silently?

Once again, I will quote Nadiya:

“…we need to talk, that’s half of the healing, we need to talk”

According to the Mental Health Foundation, “Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry or fears which, when persistent and impacting on daily life and may be a sign of an anxiety disorder”. As I read further it said “that some of the symptoms of anxiety can include changes in thoughts and behaviour such as:”

Restlessness
A feeling of dread
A feeling of being “on edge”
Difficulty concentrating
Difficulty sleeping
Irritability

I’ve experienced some of these symptoms at one point in time or even some of them in cohesion. In particular, I’ve battled and sometimes battle with ‘feelings of dread’ and on occasions’ difficulties sleeping.’

However, despite these challenges, I wouldn’t consider myself to have an anxiety disorder. I still experience anxiety to some degree but my attitude has altered over the past couple of months.

I came across this definition that might shed some light on anxiety in greater depth from my perspective. According to the Oxford Dictionary, “Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.“

‘The last few words stood out to me as I read them, (unease about something with an uncertain outcome.)

Uncertainty: the state of being uncertain– would seem to be one of the key drivers of anxiety in my personal life. Not knowing how the day will go or how a situation will play out. Or not knowing how to solve a particular circumstance. Years ago as a child, I was quite shy so one of the fears that would play on my mind was; not knowing what to say in social situations.

Most of the anxiety symptoms that I’ve experienced come in the form of a feeling of dread. This affects my body mostly because it influences the way I eat in the morning which inevitably has an ongoing effect on my energy levels.

This first tip has helped me in the past couple of months:

1) Drinking a warm drink or hot water early in the morning.

I take this roughly an hour before work – just before I pop into the bath. This prepares my stomach for any food that I’m going to intake in the morning and throughout the day.

2) Try not to skip breakfast

I used to feel a bit sickly eating breakfast in the morning. But I’ve slowly weaned myself out of this bad habit of not eating breakfast in the morning by starting with some small changes. I started the first few weeks by having juice, a cereal bar or a banana. Then I gradually moved onto porridge every morning or a healthy breakfast smoothie.

I will be one of the first to admit that anxiety can cause stomach problems (especially if you’re dreading a day at work or a big meeting.) This can have a knock-on effect on how you’re feeling, feelings of sluggishness or lack of motivation in the morning when you’re normally optimistic on a regular basis- was a really common issue for me. Therefore breakfast gave my stomach something to work on throughout the morning rather than having an empty stomach churning throughout the morning.

Another nagging thought that seems to play on my mind in relation to anxiety is ‘what if.’ I believe this is closely linked to feelings of uncertainty but also that feeling of wanting to be in control.

‘What if’ thoughts tended to plague my mind (from time to time) especially when I was trying to drift off to sleep. I could spend a whole hour going over things in my head that I think I could have changed or fantasizing about situations. For example, what if I said this differently (referring to an earlier conversation). What if this happens…what if, what if, what if? I start out intending to figure things out in my head hoping to come to a place of peace and assurance.

These are some suggestions that I use on a regular basis:

Interrupt your thoughts – especially if you’re going over things in your mind, you could listen to reflection music, ( I personally listen to DappyTkeys piano instrumentals on YouTube) Or write your thoughts down in a notebook or on a paper calendar if it’s a growing concern.

Write a letter to yourself – give the same advice you would if you were giving counsel to a close friend or family member.

Talk to someone you trust – I surround myself with a least one or two people who can counsel me or hear me out. There’s a proverb that says: in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. That’s so true.

I’ve come to realize that life is not predictable. Just like we can’t choose whether it would rain or shine today. Or we can’t choose whether your manager or colleagues are in a good mood or not. Or if are bus or train is going to be delayed.

Or in this case, we can’t choose the chemicals or triggers in our brains.

Life is unpredictable. But that‘s what makes life so interesting but also scary and challenging at the same time. There are numerous other things that are out of our hands. But we can educate ourselves about anxiety; we can learn how it works, and how to manage it.

In closing, I don’t think there’s one solution to managing anxiety. I’ve always hoped that one day I would rid myself of all anxiety, fear and worry indefinitely in an instant moment.

(Writing this post is part of my healing, it’s given me a moment to think.)

I know some of my fears work in my favour in rare instances, like that rush of adrenaline I get, if I’m about to perform in front of a large crowd, which sometimes fuels my performance,

But anxiety is real, tangible and a battle for many of us. According to Mind, there are several factors that cause anxiety: For example, past or childhood experiences, and your current life situation, to name a few. But I believe that despite my battles with anxiety I can live a fulfilling life of purpose like many others who have battled with mental health or anxiety specifically.

Folks, I admit this has been both a difficult and vulnerable topic to discuss. This has been a learning curb for me. Let me know your thoughts on anxiety and any coping mechanisms or strategies that you’ve learnt along the way.

Click the link for more tips to help anxiety: https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/

Nadiya: Anxiety, and Me, Documentary Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YV3NXtzM8U

Why Mental Health?

In the past few years, ‘Mental Health’ has been a recurring topic of discussion in the media. Recently, I eagerly listened to an interview-style audiobook called:

‘WHAT DO I DO? Mental Health and Me.’ Where Kelly Holmes interviews some of the UK celebrities who have coped with mental health difficulties. I myself have faced mental health difficulties… and come out fighting. According to Mind, approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. So if it’s so common, why have we remained so silent until now?

This blog is born out of the intent to break the silence and speak up, so that people who have gone through mental health difficulties don’t begin to think they’re alone or another statistic. – Help me create a strong social support network.

I will be posting resources, quotes, helpful videos, and advice I’ve picked up along the way.