I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you. "Now I say, I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.”
Thank you, your support throughout my first year of blogging. Keep on reading, and if your a writer, keep on blogging. [LookAfterU4me] Remember your life has an impact on others even without your realisation. I will leave you with this quote by Clarence from a black and white classic:
Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
Clarence, It’s a Wonderful Life 1946
Fear of abandonment is the overwhelming worry that people close to you will leave.
Healthline.com
Jo knows she has some trust issues, not at first, but when the relationship starts to deepen. For some reason she finds it hard to commit to a relationship, and is picky to the point she doesn’t choose anyone even when presented with several options of guys.
So when she does enter a relationship, she finds that she’s giving more than she gets back because she is trying so hard to keep the other person happy, and constantly trying to please the other person even at the expense of her own essential needs and boundaries. Jo begins to let the other person run things to the point that she feels she has no say and they always get their way, (even when she vocalises her opinions) often leaving her resentful and her needs and desires unfulfilled.
Jo has become really attached quickly but at the back of your mind she keeps in mind (this person may eventually leave) – that thought acts as an safety net for her emotions and always has. Jo battles with feelings of unworthiness, and loneliness and sometimes an emotional disconnect during her relationship, but she doesn’t understand why.
In the past when and if things do break up you finds she bounces back or move on so quickly, it’s like water of a duck’s back. This has just been the way things are and the way things have always been.
(Let’s be honest, this scenario/ thought patterns, may sound pretty normal to many, but there are some underlining issues behind them.)
Embedded is a deep rooted issue, that may come to the surface during a romantic relationship, and in a way you don’t expect – e.g. smothering the person, or sabotaging a good relationship, fear or rejection, so rejecting yourself before they reject you, or neglecting your own needs to satisfy the other person’s needs, the list goes on…
Never in a million years did I imagine myself writing a post based around this topic. In fact I’ve only heard of the phrase (fear of abandonment) once, but I never fully understand what it meant. Throughout this post I will briefly discuss my personal experience/s and my own recent discovery that fear of abandonment was a problem in my life upon entering a relationship.
Disclaimer:
The aim of this post is not to add to the current information that is available on what fear of abandonment is. But rather to offer tips or suggestions to help you on your journey to healing and recovery.
Verywellmind
Some people are solely afraid of losing a romantic partner. Others fear abandonment in other relationships.
For me personally, I believe that one of the major life event/s that caused me to develop a sense of abandonment arose when I was hospitalized at the age of 20 after finishing my University degree. At the time, my body was rejecting food, and I lost a lot of weight, so I was put on a drip, to add to that, I couldn’t utter any words despite my attempts to – it was like I was muffled. I was completely bed bound as I was connected to a drip, and medicated heavily, I felt alone, abandoned and scared.
Despite the fact that my parents and siblings visited me as frequently as possible – there was a nagging in my heart saying “don’t leave” every time they had to go after visiting hours (what made it worse – I couldn’t say it audibly.) After a couple of months, I began eating and talking a bit, so I was transferred to ward for vulnerable women, the nights often consisted of being supervised heavily, canteen dinners, and people screaming at the top of their lungs at night, it was traumatizing.
There was a variety of reasons why people were admitted to this ward, my being, that I was vulnerable in a sense because I was hardly talking, my weight had dropped (to put it plainly, I wasn’t myself.) The doctors diagnosed my first experience with mental health as a psychotic episode – this was the beginning of my fight with mental health difficulties, medication and everything else that comes along with it.
Anyone can develop a fear of abandonment. It can be deeply rooted in a traumatic experience you had as a child or a distressing relationship in adulthood
Healthline.com
As many of you may already know, I entered a relationship after my second episode, which panned out to be a 2 year engagement in a relationship I didn’t fully want to commit to. Despite my relationship being unhealthy, I stayed until I had another episode in the midst of this relationship which was triggered by the stress and pressure placed on me during this time.
After coming out of hospital I decided that I no longer wanted to be in this relationship, however I didn’t vocalize this to my ex-boyfriend – despite my lack of communication concerning this he realized that I no longer had the desire to marry him, so he left me, without saying anything and purposely gave me no closure. Unusually, I never heard from or seen him ever since despite living so close.
After this break-up, I picked up myself, and bounced back quickly. After a week, I pushed all my feelings under the rug and got on with my life. I thought this was resilience and strength because I didn’t let the break-up effect me negatively, my life flourished, I got a job, a car, pursued hobbies. (But the wounds of that relationship only recently came to the surface, when I met a guy who reminded me of my ex.)
Fear of abandonment can impact an otherwise healthy relationship.
Good Therapy
An undercurrent of fear of abandonment came to light most recently upon entering a relationship with a good guy. Below are a few of the signs I noticed that started to come to the surface has the relationship deepened. I have paraphrase/adapted the list from Good Therapy based on my own experience: (to get further symptoms of insight check out the links under reading and references.)
Below are a few tips to consider if you are dealing with the fear of abandonment:
Your experience may differ from mine, however, no matter what experience you may have gone through – identifying what experience or life event that led to your fear of abandonment is the first stage of recovery in the area of healing in your emotions. Whether you choose to do this alone, or through therapy – It will be like a weight lifted of you shoulders once you know there’s a root.
If you have just found out that fear of abandonment is impacting your relationship/s (like me) the knowledge of this should not reflect badly on you. The fact that you acknowledge the problem, and even found the root is the first step to healing and wholeness.
Don’t be too hard on yourself – Take one step at a time – concerning you healing
(Rome was not build in one day) baby steps first, walking afterwards.
My initial reaction upon finding out about fear of abandonment was to find out has much about it as possible – however this can do more damage then good because it’s an overload of information and it can cause you to heavily self-diagnose. I don’t claim to be a psychologist (and I would never encourage you to self-diagnose.) But you can seek professional help, or reach out to a trusted friend or family member so you can work through your feelings with someone.
Being kind to yourself says a lot about how you value yourself, and how you see your worth. Feelings and thoughts that a person may not want you, or not love you, or would want to leave you- reflects a lot on how you feel about yourself (especially if those thoughts have no truth in them.)
I have done previous posts on body image, loneliness, rejection and self-worth that you may wish to read.
(they are linked below) …
As always it’s been a pleasure writing this reflective post.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Your Net Worth is …
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2019/11/12/your-net-worth-is/
Picture Perfect: Body Image and Mental Health
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2019/11/30/picture-perfect-body-image-and-mental-health/
Lonely but not alone
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2020/02/21/loneliness-on-ongoing-battle/
Walking through Rejection…
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2020/03/07/walking-through-rejection/
Reading and References:
https://www.verywellmind.com/fear-of-abandonment-2671741
https://www.healthline.com/health/fear-of-abandonment
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/abandonment
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Self-doubt is simply the fear of being wrong
Joyce Meyer, The Confident Woman
For as long as I can remember I’ve had an unhealthy fear of doing the wrong thing (concerning decisions). I would make an decision then I would go over it in my mind, reasoning with myself whether the decision was the best decision or whether a better one could have been made, or wondering if I had made a mistake. (it was tormenting – and continues to be even as get older.) when I’m faced with life changing decisions.
I’ve often looked for affirmation and approval from others concerning my choices (decisions) in hope that I would find a sense of security by doing so. This would manifest itself in questions like, “what do you think of this?” referring to something I had chosen or designed. Even when I was happy will the outcome or results yet I craved reassurance. Other times I would ask questions of others like, do you think it’s right if I go here, or do this… (referring to a place I wished to go, or something I’ve always wanted to do) with the intend to get a moral standpoint on my choice or preferences (to ensure my choice/s didn’t stem from what was norm or acceptable.)
“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”
Herbert Bayard Swope Sr.
I’ve relied so heavily on the approval and affirmation of others concerning my decisions. So inevitably when I’ve finally made an decision independently – it will follow with an overwhelming sense of guilt and worry- because I didn’t have confidence in myself and I didn’t have self-trust.
Seeking advise from others is not necessarily a negative things when it’s in proportion. However I always had an expectation that either the person I’m seeking advice or approval from will totally agree or completely oppose my decision. And if they didn’t fall into either of the categories I’ve mentioned, and remained unbiased or neutral – I would seek advice elsewhere to confirm my proposed decision or my decision at hand. I used seeking advice and counsel as safety net, to help me to either embrace, or tear me away from decided decision or personal convictions.
Like me, many have been held hostage against our will by the unwelcomed giant of ‘self-doubt’ accompanied by the dreaded, and lingering undercurrent ‘fear of failure’. But have you ever consider that an unhealthy dose of doubt and self-doubt is influencing our very lives on a daily basis? Therefore keeping ‘self-doubt’ in perspective is important in maintaining good mental health and a sense of stability?
According to the Oxford dictionary, self-doubt is defined as a ‘lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.‘ On many occasions my lack of confidence has translated into lack of confidence in my decision making, which has worked against me, time and time again. Decisions make up the majority of our lives; the major decision concerning who you choose to date, and eventually who you choose to marry, or what degree or career you chose to pursue. Even to the everyday things, like what supermarket, what restruant or coffee shop you decide to visit.
There’s no doubt about it, self-doubt impacts the way we see ourselves; the decisions we make; who we choose to listen to, and even whether we choose to listen to our own voice of reason. In a way self-doubt is interlinked with many other components, thereby affecting the whole make up of our lives. Up to recently I’ve tended to rely heavily on an external voice – whether that manifest itself in reaching out to a family members or a close friend when seeking advice concerning a major life decisions.
To be honest, the advice and counsel of my close friends and family, 80% of the time, worked in my favour when my decision was in alignment with their opinions. However that 20% of the time, they disagreement with my idea has made me, miss opportunities, and not stick to my convictions, feeding into my own insecurities and self-doubt – and made me co-dependant on others leading up to decision making.
” it is what we do with (self-doubt) , how we cope with it, that means the difference between struggling chronically with self-doubt and letting it go fairly quickly.”
Mood Path Quote:
Ask yourself, do you see yourself as someone worth listening to when making decisions in your life? If no, who do you turn to when seeking advice concerning minor and major decisions in your life? Do you listen to outside voices above your voice of reason, even when you know you’re right?
I’m not saying, it’s a bad thing to seek advice. However, if you listen to their voice above your own personal convictions, concerning major decisions in your life e.g. where you live, your career prospects, how you spend your time. This can make you end up resenting the very person you seek advice from, because you’ve lived your life through them, and you haven’t made your own choices.
Keep record of your past victories, you may use this in the form of journaling or a gratitude book. Consider all the decisions that you made consciously and unconsciously throughout the past years. This can give you a new perspective on how you view yourself.
If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.
Vincent Willem van Gogh
Don’t permit other people to live their live their life through you. I’ve begun making decisions for myself with this is mind; most of my past independant decisions have been successful, and have had good outcomes.
Helpful links below:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-doubt
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000jkbr/football-prince-william-and-our-mental-health
(Available on BBC iplayer for 29 days, starting from today.) If you have a particular interest in Mental Health or Mental Health Awareness in connection to football (and the Football World) or you have suffered Mental health whilst being involved in the football industry this documentary will be ideal for you.
Enjoy your evening:)
Dear readers and fellow bloggers, I have linked several sites, and a few resources below in order to encourage mental health awareness and to assist you on your journey – in maintaining good mental health and well-being.
There are currently quite a few resources online, if you have a quick google search, e.g. Mood Diaries, Well-being Action Recovery Plans, Sleep Diary, Self -care and Relapse Prevention Plans. Some of which I’ve linked below (where possible)
Mood Diary:
https://www.bipolaruk.org/faqs/mood-diary
Sleep Diary:
Relapse Prevention Plan:
MIND
RETHINK
https://www.rethink.org/get-involved/awareness-days-and-events/mental-health-awareness-week/?gclid=CjwKCAjwk6P2BRAIEiwAfVJ0rFJZiKxTEeBBLMl5gUhcz3ox8rfAgwpSusoMKGtlyNnXjnLPZkfQthoC0SIQAvD_BwE
MENTAL HEALTH
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/mental-health-awareness-week
TIME TO CHANGE
Why Mental Health?
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2019/10/08/welcome-to-my-blog/
The Right to Happiness
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2019/10/19/the-right-to–happiness/
Your Net Worth is…
https://lookafteru4me.wordpress.com/2019/11/12/your-net-worth-is/
Enjoy your weekend.
Thoughts racing, heart’s pounding, sweaty palms, belly’s churning, mouths dry; body’s trembling.
‘I dare not look at the time, just in case it goes even slower.’ ‘They said this meeting will only last an hour, I feel like I’ve been here forever.’ ‘It’s torture sitting here.’
‘My belly’s churning; I think I need to go to the toilet.’ ‘Can I excuse myself? (‘will they think something is wrong with me?’) -‘Will they think: she could have held herself for just a bit longer, there’s only twenty minutes to go.’ (until the meeting is over)
There are asking questions, I’m being too quiet, they might think somethings wrong.’ ‘What if they ask me a question? I won’t know what to say…’ (Then the outcry for help begins) ‘God please help me.’ ‘let this be over soon.’ ‘Why do I have this.’(referring to anxiety) ‘I need to get out of here’
I haven’t just seen a ghost; I’m not waiting my turn one of the most famous theme park rides – accelerating at 80 mph in 2.3 seconds flat. I’m sitting in a staff training meeting; the topic is on (improving performance, communication and interaction with customers.) The team leader said, it will only last for one hour and a half. The topic interests me at first; I have my pen and paper ready.
The room is quiet, not to bright nor to dim (that suits me, I won’t draw any extra attention to myself.) Everyone is sitting not too far, nor too close. I decide to sit close to the door (That’s where I feel comfortable.) The meeting starts of well, I’m interested in the content. When suddenly a thought pops into my mind:
‘this meetings is a whole hour and a half.‘ then the thought continues, ‘Are you sure you can manage this? (I try to shrug it off) Then it comes back with another nagging thought,’I’m surprised you don’t feel anxious.’ then my mind thinks, ‘What time is it?‘ That’s when the internal (war) begins -the panic, the trembling and all the rest.
My Internal thoughts are a string of innocence yet provoking trigger, all space of an hour, don’t get me wrong, all begins well at first . I can usually tense the feelings of anxiety and all it’s glory for maybe the first 20 minutes, then my war of protection comes crumbling down. Note: This is not a one time occurrence, but has been a constant (internal war) for as long as I can remember (over 10 years.)
I’m currently taking a course on Future Learn on Understanding Anxiety, Depression and CBT which as shed more light on these difficulties. That has also made me consider getting CBT sessions for the anxiety that I face. Of course Anxiety as revealed itself accordingly, depending on where I was and what I was doing. If I was at Uni, it would arise in lectures, just because I was sitting still for a hour, with pin drop silence.
At work, it would reveal itself in meetings, or unexpected speaking opportunities (not overly, but internally.) And yet in contrast, I could get up in front of hundreds of people and recite and perform a poem ( even sometimes by heart.) I feel as though God held back anxiety from occupying the area of my life which held my purpose, my calling, writing and speaking poetry.
Understanding Anxiety, Depression and CBT
” The term ‘Anxiety’ refers to a response to a threatening situation (whether this perceived threat or actual threat to health or well being.”
This quote identifies two specific categories concerning anxiety, what is ‘perceived’ and what is ‘actual.’ According to the Oxford dictionary, ‘perceived’ refers ‘to interpret or regard (someone or something) in a particular way.’
Anxiety really became conciously anxiety when it started having an significant impact on my everyday life e.g. college, university and work. Let’s make something clear, no one is immune completely to ‘normal’ anxiety’ in small dozes – I’ve learnt that anxiety is the body’s response to what it considers threatening. ‘ e.g. a parent waiting up for their child to come back from a night club, or party. A student anxious about their exam, thereby acting as a safety net in many respects. For sure that they are many people who suffer from anxiety difficulties on a everyday basis. I managed to get through uni, keep a steady job for half a decade and battle everyday with anxiety sometimes at its peek. However I don’t wish to cotinue allowing anxiety to dominate my life and my life decisions and opportunities.
A phobia is an obsessive, intense and extreme fear of an object, place, situation or creature. (And having an) […] irrational apprehension about something they perceive as a danger.
– No Panic
Example 1
Someone is walking in the local common, they see a dog. Their personal perception of dogs is, ‘ all dogs are dangerous’ despite having no negative encounters with dogs in general. Their way of dealing with this phobia may be to avoid all dogs, and walk the opposite way, or avoid going to the local common completely.
Example 2
You and a friend are hiking in the countryside, she sees a dog; your friend then expresses that she has been bitten by a dog when she was younger, and she has a scar to prove it. She hates dogs in general and has based her perception of dogs this past negative encounter. She also chooses to avoid dogs as much as possible because she thinks they can be unpredictable. This Phobia appears more rational than Example 1.
These examples have 2 things in common:
1) Both of their phobias of dogs are based on perception, how so you may ask?;
Example 1, perceives all dogs as dangerous based on their own personal knowledge of dog, this may be from stories they’ve heard or a parent who shares the same phobia.
Whereas Example 2 perceived dogs as dangerous, their perception is based on their own negative encounter. However (Example 2) differs in a sense that this individual may associate their ‘phobia’ with particular dogs, like the one who bit her when she was younger.
2) Both examples used avoidance strategies in order to cope with their fears.
Which leads me onto my next topic, avoidance.
Avoidance means, ‘the action of keeping away from or not doing something.’ For those of you have anxiety difficulties, (like me,) avoidence may be ‘your knight in shining armour’, or your ‘saving grace at times.’
For example, If I knew I would potentionally feel anxious in a particular place hyprophectically, let’s say a work christmas function. If I felt anxious about this situation I may strum up an excuse not to go. E.g. if too expensive, or I’ve got too much things to do, in order to prepare for christmas. (These sound like valid excuses) What’s the harm? It’s only a work function.
However what about if your close friend invites you to a her 25th birthday, it’s a birthday party and there’s going to be a few people you know, but most of the people who are there are not familar with you. Yet think you may have what may be considered as ‘social anxiety’ and you sometimes clam up and get really overwhelmed when it comes to social events – and talking to people in fear of judgement or embarrassment. Disclaimer: everyone gets nervous at times in social situations, – I would advise you not to self diagnose, but seek professional help.
“Social anxiety/phobia is a persistent fear of social situations where one may be exposed to attention or possible judgement by others. The fear of doing something humiliating or embarrassing can lead to complete avoidance of public contact/situations.”
– No Panic
In this case you have a choice, do you ‘avoid’ this whole situation completely – don’t attend the party – give your friend a belated birthday present. Or pass through, for an hour or so, and face your fears. The second choice is easier said then done.
Many people have anxiety yet still find the abiltiy to get through the everyday things. E.g. a stressful day at work, attending work functions or birthday parties or get togethers. However Anxiety can be inbearable. However there are so many who still struggle to find a way to get past their anxieties.
Social Anxiety:
https://nopanic.org.uk/social-phobia/
https://nopanic.org.uk/
Phobia: https://nopanic.org.uk/phobia/
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/phobias/causes/
I hope this post shed more light on understanding anxiety. If you having any difficulties with anxiety, don’t hesitate to seek professional help or advice.
Part 2 of this post (I’m hoping to have CBT) in order to help me cope with Anxiety.
Find out more about CBT: click below
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00053fy
Avaliable for 23 days, starting from today.
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Resilience: What does it mean in terms of mental health, and why is it important, especially in a crisis?
‘Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.’ Up to now, I’ve always thought of resilience as a gift, rather than something acquired over time or something learnt through experience. How quickly my mind as changed in the past few weeks. Especially with the world’s current crisis, concerning the Coronavirus.
According to the WHO website, ‘Mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, and can cope with the normal stresses of life…’I came across this definition and I believe part of it is so spot-on in relation to resilience and mental health difficulties. It was my struggles with coping with the normal stresses of life that started me out on the quest to understand resilience from the perspective of mental health.
To be honest I feel that most people appear to have more resilience than I do. In particular the people in my social circle and family naturally seem to find it easy to bounce back when faced with the pressures of life. They seem to respond well to stressful situations when I say ‘well’, I mean: like I would have wanted to respond if I didn’t think things through so much.
‘Resilience is not just your ability to bounce back, but also your capacity to adapt in the face of challenging circumstances, whilst maintaining a stable mental wellbeing.’
– Mind
In the current climate, it’s sometimes difficult to stay away from all the clatter and chatter – everyone seems to want to have their input (including myself) about this current situation at hand. Whether we are going to have lock-down, whether we are going to have enough essentials and food to outlast these times. Unpredictability and uncertainty seemed to have plague our society with anxiety, fear and panic. Resilience is therefore essential to stay well, and keep things in perspective.
“Resilience isn’t a personality trait – it’s something that we can all take steps to achieve.”
– Mind
With that in consideration, there are no doubt personality types as influence the way in which we interact with others. But we can make little changes to ‘build our resilience.’ Notice I said ‘build’ not ‘receive’ or ‘inherit.’
(Not to go off the topic) – but I once heard it said, that we should try to approach life like a palm tree. (Yes, you read it correctly, a palm tree) – imagine it situated in a hot, sunny climate. When a storm hits the area in which it abides. That palm tree is not stressed. Why? you may ask – because it bends towards the way in which the wind blows, it springs back. But I’ve come to realize that this is not realistic, we are not made like palm trees. Palm trees are naturally created with the structure to bend and bounce back easily. When things hit us, especially when it’s unexpected it can come as a shock.
Resilience can be described as one’s ability to overcome adverse events. These events might include traumatic experiences, loss, serious health problems, and other types of stress that significantly impact health and well-being. -Good therapy
– Good Therapy
So how can we build resilience? First things first….
1. Take a resilience test
This is the one I took: https://www.bwcharity.org.uk/resilience-check
This helped me to identify areas in which may need developing.
2. Journal
Don’t hold things in, and hope things will go away. Admit your true feelings.
My main go-to is (Journaling). I’ve been journaling for over 15 years. It is really helpful when you want an outlet after a really stressful situation. (Currently, there’s a lot of anxiety and stress around the Coronavirus, off load your burdens and worries onto paper.)
3. SLEEP, EAT & STAY HYDRATED
I know it may sound obvious. But I’ve noticed that I’m much more grouchy, irritated and restless when faced with opposition and stress if I don’t get enough sleep, or I’ve eaten poorly or I’m dehydrated.
4. Make Time for YOURSELF
Where I’m always preoccupied doing something for someone else I can sometimes end up feeling like I’ve been cheated out of time for myself. Read or listen to a book, color or draw, listen to music –create your own coffee shop at home, (put some jazz music on,(I’ve linked one below) make your favourite Chai Latte, or Coffee, and relax.)
5. Know your strengths.
– take a personality test.
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
And embrace and develop your weaknesses
6. Don’t Neglect Friendships
This is the one thing I really need to work on. Be the first to initiate conversations – (At the moment, utilize technology, WhatsUp, text and social media.) You may find that what you’re going through is not a rare situation but more common than you think.
7. Confront issues that concern you
I’m speaking to myself also when I say this, I’ve allowed layers to build up in my heart over the past few months, without confronting situations at work and amongst family, which are not right, fair, or justified. If you don’t confront issues no matter how small or insignificant they may look – for example, let’s say your supervisor always addresses you to cover shifts, or roles, rather than speak to other co-workers who may be available, when they should be sharing the burden.
Or your co-workers take a back seat, whilst you take on the responsibility that is not yours to take – you may eventually blow your top (no matter how strong you may think you are.) Confrontation, doesn’t mean, tell the person, all the bad things you think of about them. It means, knowing when to say no, in a professional way – It also means knowing your limitations, and saying so.
Above I have shared a few tips that may help you.
I’ve also linked a web page from Mind, and Good Therapy with more tips and info about resilience in greater depth. Remember I’m still on a journey to building my resilience. I hope you join me on this quest.
https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/local-minds/resilience
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/resilience
Link any useful tips you use to build resilience.
LookafterU4me 