Providing needs for others:
Some of us may have unintentionally grown into full-time, ‘need-providers’ sometimes exerting our energy, resources and time at the expense of our own personal well-being. For some of us, it can feel as though basic needs are not being met or acknowledged. Six months ago – (that was me). When you find yourself constantly offering your resources and time from an empty cup; it can feel unhealthy especially when it begins to affect your well-being and sense of peace and wellbeing.
Feelings of being used can surface particularly if it appears others don’t seem to know you beyond the means of providing a need. Demanding individuals can sometimes view one person as their sole means of support. But whether we are on the receiving end or giving end of giving or receiving support; we still have a responsibility for our lives, wellbeing and mental health.
Consider these tips:
# Reaching out to others who love and support you
If you find it difficult to communicate your needs; try a conversation starter. It’s all about tone and delivery. Remember, ‘a soft answer turns away wrath‘ which means how you say something or answer someone impacts how they respond and feel.
Possible conversation starters:
‘Would you like to catch up next week’
‘Hun, could you empty the bins, and I’ll do the washing?’
‘I really wanted to go to the cinema, fancy coming?
You may be surprised to find others can and may respond positively when we express our needs genuinely. Even if someone doesn’t react the way you expect don’t lose faith in humanity. The process is more about trusting yourself more.
# Remember you are not alone
Initiating a catch-up, and attending a family function can be a small step towards creating bonds and fulfilling the need for human interaction and fellowship. Being around like-minded people could possibly get your zeal for life going.
Consider delegating your needs across a support network, to meet social, mental, physical and mental needs:
Prime examples:
Trusted friend – catch up
Therapy – resolve conflict in a relationship
Family – interact/ keep in touch
Go for a spa day with sister
Alpha course – speculations about God
Rounders in the park with friends and family
Just because you need affection love, or human interaction doesn’t make you needy or desperate. Desires for relationships, friendships or community may be one of the indications that you’re human.
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LookafterU4me
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